Understanding Grief and Gestalt Therapy

I am writing this as part of my own process as my long loved companion, Sandy, died two days ago. She was a huge part of my family’s life for 14 years. She was there through many life transitions and watched my children grow from toddlers to young adults. Her tail wagging when we came home and her quirky character brought joy.

Losing someone or something important can be incredibly difficult. Whether it’s the death of someone in your life, the end of a friendship, or a major life transition, grief is part of how we process these experiences.

There is no “right way” to grieve, and you may experience a range of emotions, such as:

• Anger
• Guilt
• Relief
• Sadness
• Numbness
• Loneliness
• Denial

Grief is not only emotional—it often shows up physically. You might feel tired, tense, or heavy. By paying attention to these physical sensations, it can help you to connect to your experiences and feelings.

Creative activities like drawing, writing, or movement can also help express grief when words are hard to find. Listening to music helps me.These activities can help you to connect to emotions and their inner selves.

Grief can feel isolating, lean on people when you need them. If you feel like you do not have anyone that can support you, there are organisations out there that you can contact. Cruse Bereavement Care is one of them and they have helpline you can call when you need a listening ear tel: 0808 8081 677

Healing from loss is not a straight path. It’s normal to feel okay one day and deeply sad the next. By embracing all emotions and staying present with the body, people can gradually start re-connecting with others and rebuild life around the grief.

As Fritz Perls, a founder of Gestalt therapy, once said,

“To suffer one’s death and be reborn is not easy.”

Yet through the process of grief, we can find new strength and a greater appreciation for life.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means carrying memories with love and peace. Alternatively, it involves accepting the continued bonds. Sometimes we need to reconstruct the meaning of difficult relationships we lost.

How Gestalt Therapy Approaches Grief
Grief is embodied and touches every part of who we are—our minds, hearts, and bodies. It is not just an emotion but an experience that becomes part of us. Each person carries grief in their own unique way, and Gestalt therapy honors these differences.

Rather than seeking to “fix” grief, Gestalt therapy invites us to fully experience it. When we allow ourselves to sit with the pain, we open a doorway to deeper understanding and healing. In my own journey, I have found that avoiding the emotions of grief often led to unhelpful coping strategies because it can feel overwhelming, and the path through grief can be long and complicated.

A Gestalt therapist offers a supportive, non-judgmental space where you can express your feelings at your own pace. Loss can leave behind a tangled web of emotions, and therapy gently helps to untangle that complexity. Gestalt therapy is rooted in the belief that healing and growth are possible, even in the midst of deep pain.

After a loss, many of us seek to make sense of what has happened. A therapist serves as a compassionate guide, helping to bring voice to the unspoken and shape new, meaningful stories from the experience.

Therapy is about feeling seen and supported. A caring therapist listens with empathy, aiming to create a space where you feel accepted and understood. In Gestalt therapy, the relationship between the therapist and client becomes a model for exploring how we relate to others in our lives. Through this, we can uncover new ways to build connections and find strength in our relationships.

Grief is a journey, but you do not have to walk it alone. With compassion and care, healing can happen one step at a time.

Organisations for Grief Support

Here are some organisations in the UK that provide information, resources, and support for those experiencing grief:

• Cruse Bereavement Support
  https://www.cruse.org.uk
  Cruse offers free, confidential support for anyone dealing with grief. They provide helplines, online resources, and one-on-one support.
• Marie Curie
  https://www.mariecurie.org.uk
  Marie Curie provides information and support to people living with terminal illness and their families. They offer bereavement support and helpful resources on coping with loss.
• Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity)
  https://www.sands.org.uk
  Sands supports anyone affected by the death of a baby. They offer support groups, helplines, and online resources.
• Mind
  https://www.mind.org.uk
  Mind provides mental health support, including resources on coping with grief and bereavement.
• Child Bereavement UK
  https://www.childbereavementuk.org
  This organisation helps children, young people, and families rebuild their lives after the loss of a loved one.
• The Good Grief Trust
  https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org
  The Good Grief Trust provides a directory of bereavement services across the UK, along with advice and practical support.

I leave you with this poem about loss by David Harkins: